Kedibone Mokwena, 64, a mother and senior lecturer at Unisa, shared her lifelong struggles with depression. Picture: Supplied.
Johannesburg - In the midst of a pandemic and many comments about the youth being a sad generation, it’s also important to note that it is not only “Ama 2000” that are going through the most as Twitter users like to express it.
Kedibone Mokwena, 64, a mother and senior lecturer at Unisa, shared her lifelong struggles with depression.
She also shared the ups and downs of adult learning as a black women where facilities are often too far from residents as well as other socio-economic issues.
Mokwena, who started as a primary school teacher in 1982, struggled to find ways to progress with her academic endeavours because of barriers that made learning difficult.
However, her resilience and determination helped her win through. Today she has a doctorate in adult education specialising in curriculum studies, which she obtained at the age of 62.
“I registered at the local night school for the Senior Certificate. One of the challenges that nearly made me give up was the lack of adult centres closer to my residence and a lack of transport. In this regard, the threat of criminals at night was a serious barrier for me to participate in the education programme to achieve my life goal,” said Mokwena.
Those were not the only struggles she had. She told The Star that the stresses of being a single mom and going through a traumatic experience caused her health to deteriorate, to the extent that she was diagnosed with depression.
“One adversity that stands out for me was going through depression twice in one decade. At this moment, I felt constant frustration at myself for experiencing the ups and downs in life and not becoming better quickly enough.”
She first suffered depression in 1998 when she was pursuing her Bachelor of Education degree.
“One of my study mates was at my house when there was a break-in, where I was shot in the arm and she was shot dead. I was demotivated for a long time. The second time was in 2007 but I didn’t notice I still had that trauma until 2017 when I was pursuing my doctorate. I couldn’t cope and I was overwhelmed by my workload, and because I had not been studying for a while I was unfamiliar with a lot of things,” said Mokwena.
Although she was faced with so much adversity she did not let that deter her. Instead she used her situation to fuel her to complete what she started.
“I cannot deny it, going through depression was devastating for me and I would not wish it on any one. However, although depression was another difficult time of my life, I have chosen to regard it as fuel in my life journey.
“We all know that fuel is a source of energy which can be used positively or negatively in our everyday lives. To enhance my source of energy, I had regular visits to the mental health facilities, and ensured that I have a balanced meal, using vegetables and herbs from my home garden.
“In no time my situation improved. Instead of seeing depression negatively it was an enabler in fuelling my attitude of gratitude, being grateful for the present moment, whatever the circumstance.
“Suddenly, I was urged to look for the good in myself and others before I could rush quickly to pointing out others’ faults. This I did in the spirit of self-care and appreciating myself and others so as to overcome the challenges,”
Mokwena said.
She said as another way to overcome negativity she adopted the practice of writing positive words, phrases and statements in her diary. Along with journal writing, she developed a sense of gratitude by keeping a gratitude bottle, where she would write about the joys, the little wins, and struggles on post-it notes and keep them in a bottle. Mokwena said this allowed her to approach life’s challenges using alternative routes to help achieve her goals.
“At these uncertain times of Covid-19 in South Africa and globally, sometimes the news we hear is rather sad and depressing and we experience loneliness and struggle to adapt to the new normal.
“It is at such times of adversity that we often forget who we are. It is okay not to feel okay.
“However, it is important to reach out for help.”
The Star