Increase intimacy and reawaken desire. Picture: Pexels
Are you ready for a challenge? This one is a sex challenge that will help you and your partner reconnect sexually. It may also increase intimacy and reawaken desire.
It starts with you both making a commitment to participate in a sexual or intimate experience each day for the next seven days. If that’s too much for you, you can spread it out over 14. But no longer.
Let’s start with an easy one. On Day One give each other a sensory experience and exploration. Think about which sense works well for your partner. If you choose smell and your partner cannot smell anything, it’s a fail.
Smell, taste, sight, hearing and touch, which one works best. Try a ‘mix tape’ of the sexiest music you like. Explosive kiss candy (available here) is a great one. It covers sight, sound and touch all at the same time. The sense is heightened if you include a blindfold.
You can find many items in your own home. Try a stocking, feather, silk scarf. Scented candles or even massage candles work well. Don’t forget to ask and tell what’s working and have a laugh if it doesn’t.
Day 2 requires a bit more bravery and no judgement. Do remember that not all fantasies need to be fulfilled so don’t take it too literally.
Today share sexual fantasies and desires with your partner. One of you has to take a leap of faith and go first. Start slow. Share your own and listen to theirs with no judgement. If one of you flinches, shame will set in.
Take this opportunity to strengthen your understanding and discover new fantasies together. Do not share a fantasy that will shatter your relationship, nobody wants to hear that you want to have sex with their father.
Day 3 builds on what you discovered in Day 2. Take one of the fantasies you agreed on.
Role Play and dress up. This requires you to embrace your playful side.
Start by discussing your ideas, what you’re both comfortable with and don’t forget your limits.
Put safe words into place in case one of you starts to feel uncomfortable.
You can do this during the day. This increases anticipation. Always a good thing.
Then dress up in costumes or lingerie to explore the different roles and personas you’ve discussed. It can be as serious or as silly as you like. Don’t forget to laugh.
On Day 4 we’re going to explore Tantra and Slow Sex.
This may be foreign to you and may require some research but in a nutshell, it’s about being mindful and in the moment. Try mindful touch. Try to avoid prime real estate (that’s the genital area and breasts). The body has so much more to explore, slowly. Breathe together, share what feels good and what doesn’t. You may have trigger spots that are no go areas. For me that’s my feet. Don’t go near them without consent. Savour each moment and experience this pleasure being offered to you.
Did you know that we also sell a Tantra Couch in a variety of colours. Check them out here.
It may surprise you that your partner is turned on by a nibble in the palm. This information should be stored and used in the future. Especially in public. It sends a secret message to your partner. The mind is the most powerful aphrodisiac.
Day 5 is my favourite. Explore the wonderful world of toys. I know it can be overwhelming because there are just so many on the market. Over the past 4 days you should have discovered a bit more about your partner, which should narrow it down.
No need to commit to the most expensive adult toy on the market. Start small and work your way up. Get a couple toy or one for me and one for you. For the sceptics remember they are called toys for a reason! They are for play.
A remote-controlled toy is such fun. You can use it anywhere, not just in the bedroom. If you’re in a long-distance relationship Lovense has the most fantastic range of toys available.
Your partner can be in control of your pleasure from across the globe and with video calling can watch. It may even be exciting to tease each other from different rooms in the house.
Day 6 is all about Mutual Masturbation. You are required to watch your partner pleasure themselves. Take tuns in giving and receiving feedback. It’s a great way to learn how to pleasure your partner. This is a very intimate act and requires trust and emotional connection.
This exercise will deepen your connection and intimacy levels. Just remember no judgement and no shaming. Pleasure takes many forms.
Day 7. Nothing says this has to be the last day. You can repeat the exercises once a month or year just to reconnect. End off the challenge with an erotic massage.
Set the scene and be prepared. You will need massage oil of some sort. Try a massage candle for an extra kick. For prime real estate use only natural products or lubricants designed for penetration. You don’t want the experience to leave you with an infection.
Take your time. Ask about pressure and pleasure. Take turns and then do a full body massage with a full body. You’ll be surprised at how good it feels.
I know that this all sounds like another thing to do on your endless list of to do but it’s important if your relationship is a priority. Once you’ve completed the challenge let me know how it went.
Comment on the article or email me directly – info@lolamontez.co.za
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