Nearly half of us still keep in touch with a former spouse or partner even after moving on to a new romance.
Do you have a part of your body that you love being touched? Mine is the nape of my neck. A light finger brushing across it or a butterfly kiss gives me goosebumps. I’ve recently discovered that I am not alone.
I can name several body parts that I loathe being touched. If I have to have a pedicure, I need a tranquilliser before I go. Lovely red toenails at a distance are my thing. Other people’s feet – not so much.
The best way to discover which parts you and your partner like being touched and how you like them being touched is to complete an exercise called the body map. You can download the template for free off the lolamontez.co.za website. https://lolamontez.co.za/on- demand/body-map/.
It involves drawing an outline of a body on a piece of paper, which is then used as a canvas to mark places you like to be touched. Mark out which part you like best and which are the worst.
It can indicate various sensations, emotions, or experiences felt in different parts of the body. Complete one map for yourself and one for your partner, indicating what you think they enjoy. Then you swop.
Completing a body map with a partner offers several benefits. First, it promotes open communication and vulnerability.
Sharing the physical and emotional experiences associated with different body parts encourages a deeper understanding of each other’s inner worlds.
This can strengthen the emotional bond between partners, as they gain insights into each other’s experiences and feelings that might not be expressed verbally.
It can also enhance mutual support and empathy. It allows partners to explore their bodies and emotions in a non-judgmental, supportive environment, enhancing intimacy and mutual understanding.
If this all feels a bit too much you can try giving underrated body parts attention and getting instant feedback.
Here are my favourite eight:
Nape of the neck:
If your partner has long hair, move it to the side. Kiss, lick, nibble or blow. What feels good?
The neck is a very interesting part of the body. It is only ever touched by someone else as an act of love or anger.
Love handles:
We don’t all love our handles. We spend hours trying to hide them – hot tip, buy bigger pants.
But having then loved, now that’s a whole different level of good. Don’t be self- conscious. Have them kissed and stroked. Kiss them for days.
Collar bone:
I love seeing my collar bone. It means my weight is just about right. They look fabulous when tanned and show off my necklaces. Having them stroked with a feather tickler or kisses, soft or hard can be very erogenous.
Hands:
The thing about hands is how easily they show your age. I’ve always admired people with long, surgeon-looking fingers. I have taken enough nail vitamins and collagen to have the strongest nails on the planet.
Alas, they remain putrid and have to be kept short. I do, however, love having my hands massaged. I’ve even learnt to like holding hands with my partner.
Touching them, sucking or nibbling a fingertip can be very sexy.
Feet:
I honestly don’t see the attraction, but his is not just about me. I am told that having your feet touched, toes sucked and kissed is very sexy. I am cringing as I’m writing this. So, I’ll take their word for it!
Lower back:
This one I get and love.
When I’m tired or upset, just stroke my back. Softly. And then add a bit of nail.
At Lola Montez we sell furry mitts. They were designed for just this. Sensual, erotic and comforting all at once.
Underarms:
I’m mad about my partner’s armpits and he hates me snuggling into them. I love the smell of him and the softness of his underarm hair. Every now and then he lets me.
It’s such a treat.
My underarms are so ticklish It’s difficult to allow them to be touched. I have to be in the mood.
They are underrated. Do give it a try.
There are so many more parts to try. Behind the knees, inside the elbows and then all the prime real estate, genitals, breasts and lips. Do the body map exercise.
It’s a powerful tool for self-exploration and partner connection, offering a unique blend of physical, emotional, and relational benefits.
Saturday Star
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