I nearly klapped a cellphone zombie. Then I matured

I HAVE been predicting it, warning about it, and raising the alarm for years — and now the inevitable has happened.

This past week, due to someone using a cellphone and not concentrating on traffic, there was a near-fatal accident in one of our mall’s parking areas.

I say “near fatal” because I was tempted to leap out of my car and ‘klap and trap’ the offending cellphone zombie to death,  but quickly realised that he’d probably klap me right back. Besides, his apologetic smile was so disarming, all I could do was smile back and wave.

What happened? I was exiting the mall’s parking area, when this young pedestrian, absorbed in his doomscrolling, walked slap-bang into the side of my moving car.

I rehearsed my court defence as I mulled over delivering the klap I believed he deserved. “He bumped into me, your honour, it was not a vehicular assault. In fact it was he who assaulted my vehicle!”

However, I don’t know if I am finally maturing or if it’s my regular Bible studies, but though seeing drivers, cyclists, motorcyclists, and pedestrians moving around with their eyes glued to the tiny screen in their hand frustrates the varnish off my nerves, I am learning to pause, breathe, look away from what’s irritating me, and turn my focus to something brighter.

There’s already enough darkness around. Why add to it? I mean, think about it; doesn’t it seem like the world wants to have us grumpy? I mean, why else would they make clothing labels from the most stiff, itchy material in the universe?

That said, our sunny nostalgia for “the good old days” sometimes makes me laugh. One day, today’s youth are going to look back on this time as their “good old days” — and that’s a terrifying thought.

The truth is, for many of us, childhood wasn’t easy. Our parents were strict. Life felt unfair. We got scolded, embarrassed, and punished in ways we now question – but maybe that gave us grit.

Comedian Brad Willams, who is a person of short stature, spoke about how, to discipline him, his father used to plop him onto a high shelf and leave him there to reconsider his ways.

One day his father even told Brad’s sister he was an “Elf on a shelf”.

Williams tells people who think that his father was cruel or insensitive to “grow up”.

He says, “People want to protect their children from life, and to some extent, you have to do that. But you have to let a little [pain, trauma, horror] in, because you’re never going to be able to protect them forever.

“Life,” he adds, “has an undefeated record. No one has gone through this thing unscathed.”

That’s scary – but mature. 

Just by chance, this past week I heard someone on a podcast mention that maturity is not a natural byproduct of becoming older, because you do get older people who are spoiled, entitled and immature. No, maturity is a result of making considered, often difficult, but principled decisions through life – that’s how you grow.

And then, as if to top things off, I heard this quote as I watched an interview earlier this week. It struck me so deeply that I transcribed it. I like it because it showed me that maturity isn’t about being humourless, grumpy and stuffy. You can be mature and still be silly and excited about life.

“You have to be childlike in the pursuit of your life but you cannot be childish. And this is a really big difference,” the young woman said. “ ‘Childlike’ means walking into the world with wide-open wonder, and being open, and letting go of bitterness and ready to be amazed, ready to be taught, and ready for everything to be new. That’s childlike. 

“ ‘Childish’ means I want it and I should have it. I don’t like the way this turned out … it's not fair … I'm going to have a temper tantrum now … Nothing ever goes my way … I didn't grow up in the right family … I don't have the right tools … I didn’t get to go to the right school … Nobody likes me … I quit. 

She concludes: “So you have to separate those things out. I believe you can be childlike and mature at the same time.”