Victory and vengeance at the red light

LAST week I came to realise how much I love to break the law.

Oh, for the record, the word “love” above is the only tribute there will be to Valentine’s Day, so you’re welcome.

Back to my life of crime: I was on my lunch break from work and at a supermarket to get a few things. I was in a bit of a hurry and, as a result, I decided to venture into a life of crime.

I deliberately pushed my shopping cart with 11 items to the express checkout, fully aware that what I was doing was downright evil!

Pulse racing, I eyed the exits and formulated my escape plan for the coming pursuit, sizing up the security guard and making a note that he seemed athletic, but was wearing formal shoes … I was wearing my running shoes, and had done two squats earlier that morning. This was going to be an easy getaway.

Imagine my disappointment when the young lady at the till scanned my items without protest. I was especially disappointed in the people behind me in the queue who never shamed me for breaking protocol.

I was also miffed at the store’s management, because they never even set up their tills to sound an alarm, or buzzer with flashing lights when the 11th item was scanned, just to shame transgressors.

They made crime easy … and now I am wondering what my next caper should be.

As an aside, I once witnessed a woman, here in Kimberley, who pushed an overflowing shopping cart to the 10-item till. On that occasion the cashier did protest, saying that it’s unfair to the other customers.

The woman didn’t flinch.

“You can scan my items 10 at a time, and I will pay for each batch,” she said matter-of-factly, as the rest of us in the queue fumed silently.

We tend to do that in South Africa – be silently frustrated.

However, seeing as I had earned outlaw status, I took a different approach, when I had a hostile confrontation with none other than one of those dreaded ‘law-unto-themselves’ minibus-taxi drivers.

Here’s my version of how it unfolded: On this day, I came up behind two minibuses at a red traffic light. One taxi opened its doors and five people disembarked just as the light turned green. The passengers then walked over to the second taxi and started boarding.

I was behind this second taxi, and I rolled my eyes as I remarked to my passengers, “Gee whizz, they don’t even use their ‘hazards’ any more.”

Now it happened that the passengers took so long to board that by the time they were all seated, the light had turned red again. Finally, the light turned green and the taxi door opened and a few passengers started to disembark. I shook my head in disbelief.

Now I wasn’t in a hurry, frustrated or angry at this. I had good music playing on my sound system, my aircon made the car rather pleasant and I had loads of time on my hands. But I decided to have some fun.

I hooted. But not just a ‘beep’. I laid on the hooter, sending out the longest honk that my car ever emitted – at least 10 seconds long.

The disembarking passengers angrily gesticulated at me, but I was in good spirits. I winked, smiled and waved at them.

Then the driver inched forward, and waited just across the barrier line, waiting for the light to turn red, so that he could punish me for my impudence.

What he did not know is that I have been driving for 40 years, and have owned my car for over a decade, so I know a few tricks … I wiggled free from the spite trap and easily zoomed past him.

Now I was ahead of him. There was another traffic light just ahead, and revenge was on the menu.

Relax … the revenge I meted out was showing this young, immature, proud person that our city’s roads are not a battlefield where we compete for ascendancy, but a common area where we need to learn to co-operate, be kind, courteous and accommodating so that everyone feels valued and, above all, safe.

When the light turned green, I proceeded on my way without the slightest delay, knowing that in his vehicle were at least 20 people who were depending on him to get them to their destination safely and quickly.

The point of me just letting his inconsiderate, rude, bad behaviour slide – and I can only pray that the driver somehow got the message – is that I believe that if someone offends you, and you retaliate in like manner, this probably means that you find their behaviour acceptable and worth emulating.

After all, if you didn’t, you would react differently, in a way that YOU believe is acceptable.

So by just driving on and getting on with my day, I was trying to demonstrate a better way of human interaction to that young man. After all, though we can do nothing to change someone else’s character and attitude, our choices are solely within our control.