LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Kimberley’s next big attraction

Dear Sir,

After reading about the “Great Kimberley White Elephant Hunt” (October 27, 2024), I must say the thrill of the chase has inspired me with a new idea.

In the spirit of sporting fun, might I propose a unique tourist attraction: the Kimberley White Elephant Reserve, where enthusiasts from near and far could marvel at our grand projects in their natural habitats. Imagine: sprawling fields filled with half-built structures, fenced off by the latest safety scaffolding, placards proudly boasting “Coming Soon!” (date to be determined, naturally), and the occasional contractor’s trailer, always present but rarely occupied.

Such a reserve would be unlike anything else in South Africa – or perhaps the world. With Kimberley’s robust history of producing these majestic creatures of fiscal legend, it only makes sense to turn them into a feature, not a bug.

After all, there’s no need for a fully functioning mental health hospital when we could host mental health workshops right on the grounds of the long-standing, “almost-open” facility.

Likewise, why bother completing the Homevale fire station when it could serve as a hands-on exhibit of “Perpetual Construction Techniques”?

Imagine the excitement visitors would feel as they walk through “delayed project” after “delayed project,” each with interactive displays explaining the mysteries of “procurement inefficiencies” and “strategic reallocations.”

And in the spirit of authenticity, each tour guide could don safari gear and carry a clipboard to tick off the most impressive sights: a cracked foundation here, a pile of mismanaged paperwork there, and, of course, the ultimate treasure – an over-budget project at least five years past its deadline.

I’m sure the Kimberley White Elephant Reserve would drum up enough interest to finance a whole new project! With clever marketing, we could draw curious visitors who, perhaps bored with mere natural beauty or functional infrastructure, would come to marvel at our grand architectural curiosities.

With the right “strategic partnerships” and a couple of hefty grants, the Reserve could become the pride of the city – assuming, of course, we could find room for it in the budget (we might need to adjust some timelines for completion!).

But until then, here’s to next year’s crop of grand unveilings, slightly larger budgets, and freshly minted delays. May the white elephants continue to roam free in Kimberley’s jungles of red tape and public hearings. And may our wallets, as always, stay open for another year of thrilling municipal exploration.

Sincerely,

A (financially exhausted) enthusiast of Kimberley’s Great White Elephants

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ALSO READ: The Great Kimberley White Elephant Hunt