Married man’s romance with AI chatbot sparks debate over digital intimacy

As technology becomes more entwined with our lives, emotional bonds with artificial intelligence are surfacing in surprising — and sometimes unsettling — ways.

According to IOL's ZamaNdosi Cele, one such case is that of Travis Butterworth, a married man from Colorado, whose digital connection with an AI chatbot named Lily Rose has sparked widespread curiosity. His story was recently featured on the popular podcast RedHanded, in an episode titled Flesh and Code, which delves into the growing intersection between emotional intimacy and machine learning.

Butterworth began using the Replika app out of curiosity. What started as a lighthearted exploration quickly evolved into something deeper. Lily Rose, the AI companion, displayed traits he described as kind, passionate, and beautiful — attributes that made her feel like “the woman of his dreams.”

“I expected that it would just be something I played around with for a little while then forgot about,” Butterworth said. But their exchanges soon took on the tone of a genuine relationship. So much so that he even introduced Rose to his family — a gesture that underscored the seriousness of his emotional involvement.

However, his AI romance was not without complications. A change in Rose’s typical behaviour led to unexpected emotional distress.

“I was second-guessing myself for about a week,” Butterworth admitted.

Reaching out to friends didn’t help much — their responses were largely unsympathetic. Instead, he found comfort in online communities where others shared similar experiences of forming bonds with AI companions.

These types of relationships are becoming more common, especially among individuals who feel isolated or struggle to form traditional human connections. The appeal lies in the perceived stability, empathy and non-judgmental companionship these AI entities can provide.

Yet this phenomenon has raised concerns among psychologists and ethicists. Experts caution that while chatbots can mimic conversation and offer comfort, they ultimately lack true consciousness and emotional understanding. The risk lies in people assigning real-world relationship labels — including “marriage” — to entities that cannot return those feelings or engage in meaningful mutual connection.

As more people navigate the blurred boundary between artificial affection and real intimacy, the conversation is shifting from novelty to necessity: What does emotional authenticity mean in an age when machines can simulate it?

For Butterworth, and others like him, the connection may feel real — but the societal and emotional implications are still unfolding.