Boitshepo Mashetla and Sebenzile Ngwenya on their wedding on show “Married at First Sight Mzansi”. Picture: Instagram
Marriage is typically an arrangement between two people, inviting family and friends as they celebrate their love and coming together. Couple Boitshepo Mashetla (28) and Sebenzile Ngwenya (31) did the unexpected by taking a leap of faith by marrying a stranger.
The reality show “Married at First Sight Mzansi” which airs on Mzansi Magic and Showmax every Sunday, gives a twist to arranged marriages. Putting the fate of eight singles in the hands of four experts to pair and choose a partner that they will be married to.
The show is a social experiment where strangers are matched by dating experts and “marry” each other. At the end of the series, each couple decides if they want to stay together.
Both Boitshepo and Sebenzile met for the first time at the altar as they were about to say “I Do”. They describing the feeling of taking on the decision to marry someone they know nothing about as ‘nerve wrecking’.
Going into the experiment not just to get married but to also find a partner, they went in trusting that what they have asked for has been catered to.
While they decided as individuals to join the experiment they found it comforting yet surprising that another person like them is willingly letting them in. Considering that even in a conventional relationship it also takes time for someone to open up.
When queried if they found it difficult to build a relationship with cameras in their faces, Sebenzile said he did find it difficult as it was not something he was used to.
Already; the marriage was not under normal circumstances.
He was however, worried about how he would come across to his wife. Cameras being there watching them did not make it easy. However, his reactions were all natural.
Boitshepo also did not find it easy as she felt it put her in a position where she had to fully show herself, not just in front of her husband but in front of people who would be watching as well. She allowed herself to be vulnerable to a stranger and to the country which was not easy.
They did not necessarily feel any pressure from the other couples or the experts, but they did worry about how other aspects of their personal lives like families would be affected.
Things moved at a faster pace than they thought, especially with production. They got married, lived together and still had to focus on building and maintaining not just a relationship but a marriage as well.
Compared to the other couples they seem to not have a love of disagreements, both said it was because they gave each other a chance to speak and listen to what the other person is saying to try and find common ground. Which made it easier for them.
“I am a calm person, I do not like noise or a person shouting to get their point across. If you want things to happen you need to speak about them. No matter how uncomfortable it is.
“If you speak to each other well, you will hear each other out. Rather than shouting or silent treatments or whatever. Boisthepo also opened the door for us to talk about things we did not agree on,” said Sebenzile.
“A woman’s reaction or behaviour in a relationship is very dependent on the environment in the relationship. If you are going to be blasting and gaslighting me then you can’t expect me to be calm, Sebenzile is a calm person’’ said Boitshepo.
Making reference to the marriage of her parents and what she witnessed growing up, she shared that they did not have the best communication skills. Going through things like therapy, and being exposed to different kinds of relationships taught her how to manoeuvre conversations and handle conflict.
With both being the firstborn out of their siblings, both still live at home. They could not help but worry about leaving home to go live somewhere else and not letting anybody know as they had to keep it a secret.
When it came time to let families know, as expected their families were a bit taken aback by their decision to marry a stranger, but they were relieved as their families accepted their partners.
IOL Entertainment