Barney proved that greed causes extinction

BARNEY the Dinosaur was never very bright, so I’ve often wondered how he ended up with his own TV show. I once heard a story about him and two dinosaur friends stumbling across a magic lamp.

They rubbed the lamp, and a genie appeared, offering each one a wish. 

Sammy the Spinosaurus asked for a big, juicy piece of meat, and instantly it appeared. Vernal the Velociraptor went bigger – he wanted a shower of meat, and soon giant chunks of it rained from the sky.

Barney, the Tyrannosaurus rex, being the most carnivorous of them all, certainly did not want to be outdone. He thought for a moment before clapping his tiny T rex hands and excitedly exclaiming, “I want a MEATIER shower!”

Now, for someone who caused the extinction of his race, I wonder why that brightly coloured buffoon is so popular with children.

So popular, in fact, that it’s only mid-September and already there are ads for the new “Heart Hands Barney.” For crying out loud, there's still well over 130,000 minutes until Christmas, and so much to do till then and already the festive shopping push has begun.

As much as I roll my eyes at premature festive hype, I recently discovered that some people are way ahead of the curve. Last week, while doomscrolling on Facebook, I found something thrilling: a so-called sale from a popular outdoor store, advertising up to 80% off.

Within minutes, I had a pair of hiking boots in my cart and was ready to check out. Delivery was supposed to be free, but I noticed a R260 courier charge. I paused the transaction, only to be bombarded with e-mails with urgent messages: “You’re just a few clicks away from your incredible bargain” … “Don’t forget the items in your cart – sale ends soon!” … “Do you need help checking out? Please get in touch with our sales team” …

More and more reminders dropped through the day, and something didn’t feel quite right. I ignored the messages because, thankfully, the DFA keeps me too busy sometimes.

A few days later, I was at the mall and I popped into Cape Union Mart to ask them about their big “online sale”. The staff who helped me went pale at first, but perked up when I informed them that I had not bought anything.

I learned that there are scammers creating fake Cape Union Mart shopping sites and scamming people out of their hard-earned cash. Their advice was simple: if something online looks too good to be true, take a minute and check carefully that you’re really on the official store site before you authorise a transaction.

I was told that it’s been a battle for the store to get the fake sites taken down; take them down one day, and a few days later, they’re up and running again.

So, after all of that, here’s my point: For the next few months, for the rest of the – more or less – eight million seconds until Christmas, keep your hand firmly on your purse or wallet, be aware of your surroundings at the ATM, and be extra careful when you do online transactions.

If the earlier Barney story teaches us anything, let it be this: if you can’t depend on your friends … be extra careful about trusting strangers.