The former Proteas captain knows it’s a long journey back to the heights she once reached, but the fire still burns strongly within her to turn out in the green and gold again.
BELLVILLE Technical High School is not one of Cape Town’s renowned ivy league schools that have produced cricketers by the dozen.
But here in the heart of one of the coldest winters the Mother City has seen in years, with the snow-capped Drakenstein mountains in sight, sits former Proteas Women’s captain Dane van Niekerk.
Now 31, Van Niekerk is starting from ground zero. Arguably one of the foremost women’s cricketers on the planet a little more than two years ago, she now finds herself among a group of teenagers and veterans preparing for the domestic season with her new team Western Province.
That failed fitness test
Van Niekerk’s fall from grace is well documented after she failed a fitness test ahead of last year’s ICC T20 Women’s World Cup that was staged on South African soil that led to her exclusion from the squad that went on the become the first Proteas team – male or female – to reach an ICC World Cup final.
It led to Van Niekerk walking away from the Proteas Women’s team – an entity she had devoted her entire adult life to after making her debut at 16 and being awarded the captaincy at 23.
Basically, she was the Graeme Smith of women’s cricket in South Africa to put it into context.
But Van Niekerk had enough. She was hurt. And she was angry.
“I didn’t want to retire. There is a personal reason why I did that. The scrutiny with everything that happened took a massive toll on me mentally. I am still struggling with it.
“I didn’t want to do it. But I had to do it for me. I had to get out of the environment. It wasn’t about the fight with Cricket SA. It wasn’t about the fitness, or me not wanting to do the fitness.
“I was just trying to get away from the South African stuff. We know everything is not always perfect in an environment. But I just felt that for me it became very toxic. I didn’t enjoy it. It was not the environment that I had worked my ar** off with the seniors to create this environment, and I felt that it fell away.
Scrutinised on a global level
“I was also scrutinised on a global level. Not a local level. Not just in PE. I was scrutinised globally, and that takes a massive knock. Because people weren’t questioning Dane the cricketer, but rather my fitness. It just changed the narrative. That’s why I retired. It was a personal thing.”
It may be 18 months since the drama played out like a soap opera with Van Niekerk and former Proteas Women’s coach Hilton Moreeng in the starring roles, but the debris from the public fallout is still very evident.
“I have always been honest. Yes, I do still carry some resentment towards some people for whatever happened.
“But from day one, I never asked anybody for an exemption. I never sat in a meeting begging anyone to bend the rules for me. I was the captain, and I understood there was a rule, I just tried to state my case.
“I was like, ‘Listen guys, you are literally judging me on one aspect,’ but I literally gave them like eight aspects: captaincy, batting, bowling, everything … and I was like, ‘you guys are not picking me for one thing’.
Carrying resentment
“I do carry a bit of resentment because it took a lot from me. I don’t think people understand financially the knock I took. Personally, I took a massive knock because of a 2km time trial.
“Teams weren’t questioning Dane the cricketer anymore. When they spoke to my agent they were asking, ‘Is Dane fit?’
“My word! Dane was never the fittest. Dane was never the thinnest. That’s a fact. But I could produce. I have not said this openly, but I thoroughly believed that I was at the best place in my career, and I spoke to Hilton and I said to him: ‘Pick me, I will win you a World Cup!’ Because that’s how confident I was in the work that I had done.
“That was literally the day before I got dropped. So, yes there is some resentment. It was a home World Cup. My word, you will never get that back. And being there, watching the team, that hurt a lot. But I had my wife there that was still playing there, so I couldn’t run around like a little kid and be angry at the world. I had to support the team.”
Time brings healing
With time comes healing though and a lot of reflection and maturity, which has allowed Van Niekerk to admit that she was also at fault, citing her climbing over a wall at home that led to her breaking her ankle that subsequently ruled her out of the 2022 ICC Women’s ODI World Cup in New Zealand as a case in point.
“I broke my ankle through a stupid decision I made before the 2022 World Cup. I resent myself for that. And I think he (Moreeng) may have carried some resentment as well,” she said.
“It was like just one decision … Dane … it almost felt as if I had dropped him. I think from there it was just a breakdown in the relationship.
“We actually spoke for the first time when I heard that he was leaving, I just wished him good luck and thanked him for everything. Again, I needed my time.
A breakdown in relationship
“We were in India, after a year, and it was the first time I actually hugged him, greeted him, and spoke with him. I think there was a breakdown in the relationship, which I assume is normal.
“I left the team in a bad state, in a sense that it was literally six days before we left for the World Cup. And he had to jump, and make sure he was in a good space with the stand-in captain which was Sune (Luus) at the time.
“I understood all of that, but I think from both of our sides it could have been handled better.”
To blame Moreeng, who is now coaching in the USA, solely for Van Niekerk’s circumstances would be grossly unfair.
At the time Cricket SA stood firm by its policy that players would need to pass a regulated time trial in order to take the field. Certain high-profile players in the men’s game, most notably all-rounder Sisanda Magala, also saw his international career nosedive due to similar circumstances.
The U-turn that stung
However, CSA underwent a U-turn shortly afterwards that seriously stung Van Niekerk.
“I was actually in England at the time with (Proteas all-rounder and wife) Marizanne (Kapp). And I heard via the grapevine, but it wasn’t official,” she said.
“I was in all sorts hey … we had to leave the restaurant. I was bawling my eyes out.
“I was like, ‘Are you serious?’ A home World Cup was taken away from me, like you’ve taken so much, and just to change the rules. And again, the rules shouldn’t have been bent, but cricket and commonsense just don’t go together sometimes.
“I will never be a Marizanne Kapp – if that makes sense. Fitness: she’s a monster. Laura Wolvaardt is a monster. They are fit. I won’t be them. But I was the fittest Dane. Flat on! Ten kilos less. I was running, my skinfolds, everything was there. That hurt. It still hurts.”
Van Niekerk was not lost to the women’s game entirely as she swopped her boots for the microphone as she became a regular on the commentary circuit.
A long journey back
But she remained unfulfilled and after careful thought and discussion with her wife, she has started the comeback trail from the beginning.
She knows it’s a long journey back to the heights she once reached, but the fire still burns strongly within her to turn out in the green and gold again.
The upcoming ICC Women’s T20 World Cup in the UAE may be a bit premature, but next year’s 50-overs World Cup in India is on the radar.
“I signed in May (for WP), started training and then I got a back injury, and that set me back 12 weeks. Technically I am back for a month without any niggles. It’s obviously difficult. I’m 31 now. My body doesn’t respond like it used to. I am not 21 anymore. Everything is harder.
Always wanted to come back
“But I always wanted to come back. I just needed to deal with everything that happened. I am still dealing with it, but I feel like I am at a point now where I say, ‘I’ve got my big lady panties on now’ and I need to get over it and bou n brug (build a bridge)
“I want to play for my country again. I thoroughly believe that I still have the skill-set to do that. I think I can still add value. I feel like I’ve left the team and the environment too early, and I feel like I can still add value especially with Laura Wolvaardt who took over, some guidance there as well, which would just benefit the team as well.
“A lot of hard work ahead. But I think I am ready to put everything behind me and just focus on doing my job for Western Province, and if it comes that I get a call-up, it will be awesome. But right now it’s about finding my purpose.”
