GreyMutter: In this unpredictable, stressful world, full of random uncertainties and guaranteed delays, one needs to learn and apply coping mechanisms; little tricks we can utilise to help us deal with our frustrations, writes Lance Fredericks.
IF YOU ask me, one of the most frustrating, most infuriating experiences one can endure is to be delayed when you need to be somewhere, or get something done.
Who hasn’t been caught behind a driver crawling along at a snail’s pace while they read their texts, blissfully oblivious to the fact that there’s a string of cars behind them?
For the record, sometimes one gets caught behind a learner driver, and I don’t mind that at all.
In fact, the only reason I make a point of overtaking a learner driver, is because I remember what it was like to have a car looming behind you while you’re gripping the steering wheel with sweaty palms, trying to stay between the white line on your right and the bushes, or sidewalk, on the left.
I’d love to learn patience again, because these days being delayed has become a way of life. In malls, stores and supermarkets, people walk two, three or even four abreast, just ambling along, seemingly without a care in the world … That is, until someone delays them or gets in their way, I am guessing.
I used to be a patient person. I honestly believe that, but over time – with telemarketers reading four-page contracts to me over the phone – I have unlearned that important grace.
Sometimes – once a week, in fact – I wonder how some people find the time to read my columns. Yes, I often worry that even GreyMutter can delay one and test one’s patience.
But, in this unpredictable, stressful world, full of random uncertainties and guaranteed delays, there are also coping mechanisms; little tricks we can utilise to help us deal with our frustrations.
Here’s two of them. I have been applying them, and they have been working for me.
When I feel frustrated, I take a few slow, deep breaths. Then I look around, take my thoughts off what’s working on my nerves, and appreciate something around me … that “something” could be anything. I never overthink it.
I have also learned to reframe the situation by viewing the delay as an opportunity rather than an inconvenience. So these days, when I am in my car, and someone delays me, I use the extra time to reflect, plan, or – and this is my favourite – listen to some of my favourite music.
This helps redirect frustration into either productivity or enjoyment.
Yet, I have to warn the reader that sometimes being ‘too delayed’ can be painful.
Recently I heard a story of a country doctor treating a middle-aged patient’s broken leg.
“How did it happen?” the doctor asked.
“Well, doc, 25 years ago …” the man began.
“Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning,” the doctor interrupted.
“Like I was saying … 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm …” (The doctor sighed, but let him carry on).
“That night, right after I’d gone to bed, the farmer’s beautiful daughter came into my room,” the man said. “She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I told her, ‘No, everything is fine.’
“ ‘Are you sure?’ she asked me.
“I assured her that I was just fine.
“But she persisted, urging me, ‘Are you SURE that there isn’t ANYTHING I can do for you?’
“ ‘I reckon not,’ I replied.”
By this time, the doctor’s patience wore out.
“Excuse me … but what does this story have to do with your leg?”
“Well, this morning,” the farmhand explained, “when it dawned on me what she was hinting at in that room 25 years ago, I fainted and fell off the roof!”
