SOMETIMES you need to remind yourself, or at least try to convince yourself that all people are not all that bad. There could be a few “good eggs” out there still.
Last week, I was pretty upset about the upward tick in crime in South Africa, especially home invasions and attacks on good people, so my mind and my spirit was filled with a lot of anger and frustration. So much so that this week, I had to make an effort to try and restore my faith in humanity.
My method is simple: when it gets too dark around you, strike a match by looking for something good, noble, inspiring. And I did exactly that by looking for stories about people being nice, kind, generous … even compassionate.
Here’s what I found.
I read about how, on April 15, 1912, the RMS Titanic collided with an iceberg in the north Atlantic and sank, resulting in the deaths of more than 1,500 passengers and crew.
But here’s the little bit of good that shines out of that heartbreaking disaster. As it turns out, the vast majority of those who survived the disaster were women and children who owed their lives to the selfless acts of male passengers who bravely remained on board knowing that they were about to meet an icy, watery grave.
Men made up 75 percent of the 2,240 passengers and crew on board the ship’s ill-fated maiden voyage but only made up a tiny fraction of the 705 survivors.
According to one report, even affluent male passengers gave up their seats on lifeboats for women and children. In fact, out of the 175 men travelling in first class, only 34 percent survived the disaster.
In fact, wealthy businessmen such as John Jacob Astor IV and Benjamin Guggenheim, an American businessman who was among the most prominent passengers aboard, chose to remain behind knowing that they would meet their deaths in the freezing waters of the North Atlantic. Astor, meanwhile, was so wealthy that, at the time of his death, he had enough money to build 30 Titanics.
An account written after the disaster made the point that, faced with mortal danger, Astor chose what he deemed morally right and gave up his spot in a lifeboat to save two frightened children.
Isidor Straus, another millionaire and co-owner of Macy’s, the biggest American department store chain, stated, “I will never board a lifeboat before other men.” His wife Ida also declined to get on the lifeboat and instead let her newly hired maid, Ellen Bird, take her place, choosing to be with her husband during her final moments of life.
The article went on to say, “These wealthy individuals preferred to part with their wealth, and even their lives, rather than compromise their moral principles.”
And then added: “Their choice in favour of moral values highlighted the brilliance of human civilization and human nature.”
Imagine that: rich, powerful, successful, influential people, men who had a lot to live for, giving up their lives for the weak; looking past their selfish desires to the good of others.
But this was 112 years ago. Today, are people, including powerful, rich and influential people still this generous? We can speculate, but only a crisis – like a sinking ship perhaps – may reveal the answer to this one.
Granted, we see a lot of people doing good things these days. But perhaps that’s the problem … we SEE them, parading their beneficence all over social media; maybe it’s done to influence and motivate others to do the same, but often, I suspect, the good deeds are just for the thrill of more views, more clicks, more likes and more followers, ultimately benefiting themselves.
But, I hasten to add, we have to be careful of being too vigorous in our appeals to people to be good and do good.
I once heard a story of a housemaster at a strict all-boys’ hostel who only allowed boys who did a good deed to eat supper in the dining room.
He had made it quite clear during their induction what’s considered good deeds; things like running an errand for someone, helping an old lady cross the road, and the like.
So the boys would line up at the door of the dining room each evening and he would ask them what good deed they had done for the day. Based on their responses, the housemaster would then decide if the deed was good enough to grant them access to the dining hall.
The boys knew that they needed to get a good deed done each day or, sadly, there’d be no supper that evening.
On one such evening, he asked the first boy, “So Bobby, what good deed did you do today?”
“I helped an old lady cross the road,” Bobby responded.
“Very good! Enjoy your meal, young lad,” he said, as he ruffled Bobby’s hair.
“And what about you, Tommy?”
Tommy replied, “I also helped an old lady cross the road.”
“Oh! Was it the same lady Bobby helped,” the housemaster asked.
“Yes, sir,” came the reply.
“Very well then, you may enter,” he said, suspiciously, deciding to give the two boys the benefit of the doubt, after all, they did do a good deed and, he reasoned, maybe the lady must have needed help with her parcels, or something like that.
He turned to the next in line. “Good evening Raymond, and what about you. What good deed have you done today?”
“I also helped an old lady cross the road,” came the reply.
Highly suspicious, the housemaster said, “Really? Was this the same lady Bobby and Tommy helped?”
“Yessir!”
“Care to explain why THREE of you needed to help ONE old lady cross the road,” the housemaster demanded.
“Well sir … Because she was fighting,” Raymond said.
“And why was she fighting, Raymond?”
Raymond blushed. “Because she didn’t wanna cross the road in the first place, sir!”